new government logo

credit goes to:http://www.nostate.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/newusgovernmentlogo.jpg

debt deal???

I was just thinking that I don't know much about how all that government crap works but it looks like to me that the deal congress and the president worked out would be the same as me paying my next 12 or 15 house payments with my Mastercard. Then, in a couple of years, I'll save my beer money to pay off the credit card.

We'll see how that works out for everybody but I bet we're doing this same s**t in a year or two only it'll be 10 times worse.

cursive

I was just thinking: Was learning cursive really necessary?

gggg

AT&T announced the roll-out of their 4G service. I'm impressed and can't wait. Last year I could drive 30 miles and get 3G service for the first time. So if I have a 4G phone stuck in my coffin, I might have 4G service by about mid 2153. Only problem I see is that with the 2 gig limit they put on service, I'll be over my usage on the first day. Almost makes me want to swap back to AT&T....

i see said the blind man

I was just thinking, how does a blind man know when he's done wiping his ass?

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Five minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

"I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied.

She ran out of the room.

i wanna die with my hat on.

I was just thinking that I can take it as well as I can dish it out so why not make a little fun of myself. To make a short story longer, I got to give a little back ground so here goes:

I wear a cap 90% of the time. Hard hat at work, baseball cap at home. If I'm not wearing a hat, I consider that to dressed up.

I work long hours, usually 13 (plus a little) hours a day. I got a 1 hour and 15 minute round trip commute to work. My shift rotates between days and nights every week.

Enough background, as you can imagine, at times I have to hurry home to bath, eat, see the wife and get in bed so I can get some sleep, especially after 3 or 4 days/nights, I'm ready to get some sleep. One day I came in and started rushing through my routine of running bath water, eating and then getting in the tub, all the time thinking "Man, I'm gonna do some good sleeping this morning." Well, I went to get in the tub and thought "The light in here doesn't look right." Oh well, must be a bulb out, that'll be something to do on my next day off. I slid on down in the tub, still thinking about getting some sleep as I leaned back with my eyes closed, reminding myself not to fall asleep in the tub again. I shook my head a little to wake myself up and opened my eyes, wait, the light still don't look right, what's the deal?

It was then that I realized, there I sat, naked, in the bath tub with my hat on (looking like a real goofas). Boy, I'm glad my wife aint home yet. If you can laugh at youself, that should give you the right to laugh at everybody else.