Redneck Beer Review 11-11

Yazoo Pale Ale
Yea, it's named for Yazoo, Mississippi but the brewery is in Nashville, TN. Go figure.

If you're stuck on Bud or Busch Light, you most likely won't like it. It has a good whang to it. Good beer for a change, just takes some getting used to.

occupy wall street???

I thought those guys were a bunch of snot nosed whinners and the most they new about jobs was "Steve Jobs", now I see that some folks agree with me. Check out Bill Whittle:

two dogs dining

i take no credit....

What happens at the beach......

What happens at the beach stays at the beach or at least it's easier to bury.

the good news....

First beer on the beach in Gulf Shores...............

the bad news.....

The last beer on the beach in Destin, at least until next year.

The better mouse trap......

Redneck beer review 9/11

Open bar before, DURING and after a wedding rocks, don't matter what brand...

Time travel

I was just thinking, if I invented a time machine, the first thing I'd do was find out who invented ties and go back and kick their ass, twice.

life rules (some more words)

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12.conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.

quote of the day

"Camping without weed is just sleeping in the woods."

Victoria, from Mike and Molley

Redneck Beer Review "Moonshine"

This stuff will knock your tallywhacker in the dirt. The "still" is in Gatlinburg, downtown. Several flavors, hunchpunch was pretty good, moonshine was stout. Free samples but didn't buy any. Neat place.
Ole Smoky Moonshine

new government logo

credit goes to:http://www.nostate.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/newusgovernmentlogo.jpg

quote of the day

from American Pickers.....

Mike:   "Aren't you worried about your carbon footprint when you're gone?"
Frank:   "No, I don't care if it goes 'Planet of the Apes' when I'm gone."

debt deal???

I was just thinking that I don't know much about how all that government crap works but it looks like to me that the deal congress and the president worked out would be the same as me paying my next 12 or 15 house payments with my Mastercard. Then, in a couple of years, I'll save my beer money to pay off the credit card.

We'll see how that works out for everybody but I bet we're doing this same s**t in a year or two only it'll be 10 times worse.

quote of the day

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.



-Abraham Lincoln

Scared or excited

I was just thinking, what the hell comes on a hanger like this? Found it when I was taking out the trash, I don't care what she bought but....?

Stinky cars?

If you need 43 air fresheners in your car, maybe you should just ride around with the windows down.

melons

credit goes to "unknown internet dude".

joke of the day

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Warren Buffet is the man...

“I could end the deficit in 5 minutes. You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP all sitting members of congress are ineligible for reelection.” quote form Warren Buffet.




Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/warren-buffet-deficit-jobs-report-2011-7#ixzz1RfP3sHQl

do you smell that?

Redneck Beer Review 6-11

Blue Moon Honey Wheat
Pretty good beer, can't tell why the call it "Honey Wheat", it's not sweet at all. Goes real good with crab claws....

On screen, Mr. Spock.

I was just thinking, I might watch too much Star Trek. All the technology is cool and some might actually work in the future, we got cell phones now that will do more than Captain Kirk's communicator would do but I always figured the view screen on the Enterprise was a bunch of crap. How can you see a planet (or some one on a planet) that was lightyears away. The Hubble Telescope is one thing but on the viewscreen, they could see nearly anywhere, I figured it just made the show better plus they never tried to explain the technology. Even the warp drive is based on some "real" theory but no explanation of the viewer, it was just there. I figured, nope, never happen.....

Then the other day I was using Google Maps to find a gas station, I switched to "street view" to see if I could get my truck and camper into the station without too much trouble. The view of the station popped up and it hit me, "Holy S**t".....

Now I just need to develope an app, you say "on screen, mr spock" and it will automatically open up Google Map Street View and show you a couple of miles down the road, but Google may already be working on it.

I was just thinking...

The doctor said if I quit drinking that I could add 5 years on to my life. I told him that I didn't have anything planned for that last 5 years anyway.

you are a redneck if.....

you open your grill and this is what you find.

dogs are better than....

where did the white man go wrong?

you might be a redneck if...

You might be a redneck if: During your wife's DUI hearing, the court clerk says "Order in the court." and you reply "Bud Light, please."

beep beep 2.0

Looney.Tunes.Coyote.Falls.1080p from Proud & Loud on Vimeo.


updated classic

quote of the day

(from Rules of  Engagement)

Audry-"You're drinking beer this early in the morning?"
Jeff-"Yes, we're out of orange juice."

you might be a redneck if...

The last thing you take off before you go to bed is your hat.

the end is near

Two preachers were walking down the road carrying a sign that said "Turn ye around, the end is near" as a car came speeding toward them the driver shook his fist and shouted "RELIGOUS NUTS!!!" he then spead around the curve and there was a loud splash.

With that one of the preachers turned to the other and said "Do you think we should change the sign to read "Bridge out ahead"?

signs

I saw this sign on the side of the road the other day, looks to me like, if you loved your kids, you'd keep'em outta the dang road!

Redneck Beer Review 5-11

Calfkiller, cool name for a beer. The Calfkiller Brewery is a local brewery in Sparta, TN. Good beer, not to strong, looks kinda like pond water. Light but lots of flavor. Guess it's what you'd call a micro-brew, I could have gotten a tour of the barn, I mean brewery but didn't. My loss, it only comes in kegs, no bottles. I'll be checking the web site to see if they ever start bottling, til then I'll just have to keep checking the bars & resturants in the area. The Foglight Foodhouse in Rock Island has Calfkiller and some good food, fyi.

osama

One good thing Osama did; he got rid of most that royal wedding crap that was all you could find on the TV.

got milk

I went to see my niece today, she has a two month old baby. The baby was ill and crying, she said she was constipated. I was just thinking, she only drinks milk, how the hell does that make you constipated?

driver’s license

I was just thinking, Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

haley

I was just thinking, since Haley Borbour isn't going to run for president, that'll save me (personally) about a million dollars. What a waste that'd been. Like Obama/Busch (and who ever is next) aint bad enough?

who moved my cheese?

I had to read "Who Moved My Cheese?" for a class, now I'm looking forward to the sequel: "Where's My Beer?"

plan b

I was just thinking, life is all about how you handle plan B.....

T-tops

I was just thinking, when are T-tops gonna make a come back? I always wanted a car with T-tops but never did have one, I bet a dollar that they'll be back within a couple of years. Remember "Smokie and the Bandit".

government shut down

"At least if we had a shutdown, we'd all have gotten to see just how nonessential most of government actually is."

S.E. Cupp is a columnist at the New York Daily News

Boy, he sure said a butt-load......

Redneck Beer Review 4-11

It's just Bud Light but don't it look good.

Ugly

Have you ever seen an uglier ride?

Redneck Beer Review 3-11

Mic Ultra & fried jalapeno strips sitting on the porch at The Shrimp Basket in Orange Beach, good beer.

listen

I was just thinking, the word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".

redneck test answsers...

any redneck should have been able to answer them questions....

redneck test

who's the bigger asshat???

I saw the man and woman on a trike (yellow with black flames), looked like a VW rear-end welded to a motorcycle front-end, kinda sharp but what do I know. They were stopped at a red light waiting on it to change. I was close enough to them that I could see them pointing at a car across the intersection from them and laughing at it. The car was about a '76 Caprice with 22" rims and low profile tires, looked kinda stupid to me too but not as stupid as them two on the trike in the pouring rain.

I'd take the rims with a roof any rainy day over a trike.....

do u mind...

I was just thinking but sometimes my mind wanders. Then sometimes it leaves completely.

tard

Measure twice.....

They say measure twice and cut once, you think this is what they mean?

the jedi redneck

I was just thinking, why didn't anybody think to put a wrist strap on a lightsaber? Luke could have kicked the Dark Side's ass if he wasn't always dropping his lightsaber.

ouch....

word of the day

ASSHAT

Example of use: "You are an ASSHAT!"

Meaning: The only thing the top half of you is good for is a lid for the bottom half.

cursive

I was just thinking: Was learning cursive really necessary?

gggg

AT&T announced the roll-out of their 4G service. I'm impressed and can't wait. Last year I could drive 30 miles and get 3G service for the first time. So if I have a 4G phone stuck in my coffin, I might have 4G service by about mid 2153. Only problem I see is that with the 2 gig limit they put on service, I'll be over my usage on the first day. Almost makes me want to swap back to AT&T....

west virginia gurls...

What does a West Virginia girl say after her first sexual experiance?
"Get off of me Papaw, you're mashing my cigarettes!"

pants on the ground....

what will $1.7 million get ya?

A Bugatti Veyron:

250 mph, 0 to 60 in about 2.5 seconds and here's the kicker: 4 Michelin tires made for this car. A set will cost you $17,000 and only last for 6000 miles. I didn't even look into how many miles per gallon it gets, guess if you have that kind of money, you wouldn't give a rats-ass.

good ole steve....

a public service announcement

how many buttons do i need?

I was just thinking, how many buttons do I really need on my DVD player remote? I really don't think I need 47 dad-gum buttons. I go to pick up the remote and I can't even find the "play" button. I don't know what most are for and don't give a rats-ass. All I need is a "play", a "stop" and maybe FF & RW, possibly a power button and volume up and down. I really don't care for the number buttons, just gimme an up and down for that, leave the rest of the crap off. MAKE IS SIMPLE. I don't want to have to figure it out, just play the dang DVD.

Here's another idea, how about making all DVD remotes the same. I finally figure the one out in the den then go to the bedroom and the SOB is different. I aint buying no blu-ray until they figure out a remote....

dumb ass weather man...

The local weather dumb ass said there was a 40% chance of snow and that we'd have 5 to 8 inches of accumulation.....

If you say we're gonna have at least 5 inches of snow, don't that mean there's 100% chance of snow? If there's only a 40% chance, looks like you should say zero to 8 " accumulation. But what do I know, I aint no Dick "Freakin" Rice.

bottoms up....



and the point is?

A treadmill bike. WTF? Do you want to take a walk or ride a bike?



dulcolax

I was just thinking, I saw an add for Dulcolax "stool softener". Is that like "diarrhea-in-a-box"?

a six-pack of Milwaukee's best will have the same results....

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2010 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt..

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2010 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2010 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2010 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Wally falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Nancy. Nancy hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Wally feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Nancy is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison... Wally undergoes 5 years of therapy.