potted meat/beer diet plan

I was just thinking that everybody has a diet plan. There's an Atkin's Diet, Dr.s Weight Loss, The Southbeach Diet and Weight Watchers just to name a few. I think Dr. Oz has one, hell, Oprah even had a woman on her show that said to lose weight, she had sex with her husband several times a day (as she told about it, her husband just sat beside her grinning his ass off). I figure if they can, I can. I could even guarantee that you'd lose weight or give you your money back. Here's the plan:

Breakfast: bowl of Cherrios (part of a heart-healthy diet, says so right on the box)

Lunch: one can potted meat and about 8 saltine crackers with an apple (fruit, got to have some fruit)

Afternoon snack: six pack of any beer you like, just make sure it's light.

Dinner: potted meat sandwitch (one can potted meat and 2 slices of bread), what the hell, have 2 sandwitches, you need your protein.

After dinner: this is the best part, all the beer you want. Anytime you feel a little hungry, grab a beer.

I aint sayin you'll lose fat, it might be muscle or maybe just brain cells but you'll lose weight. If you need a chocolate fix, sub a can of Slimfast for one of those sandwitches. This diet is fairly flexable but if you don't lose weight, it's your fault not mine.

Here's before and after pictures (results not typical).

I don't know this woman or even if it's the same woman in both pictures, I just said that it's before and after.

Disclaimer: it's just as likely you end up like this;

But hey, you'd be losing weight, it's hard to eat good if you're homeless. About 99% of them diet plans make about as much sense as mine, go figure......