what a waste.

I heard that Chelsea Clinton's wedding will cost between 3 and 5 million dollars. You think Bill and Hillary (along with 99% of the other politicians) are a little outta touch with the real world?

gps

I was just thinking, why doesn't Garmin or Tom Tom build a radar detector into their GPS. There's feature I'd like. Get me where I'm going and get me there faster. Might keep my wife from gettin a ticket too.....

i can call you a redneck if.......

This dude from Alabama helps us Mississippi folks look sophisticated. Oh yea, he had one tooth in his head, on the bottom and right in the middle.

just another day at micky dee's

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

just another day at wal-mart

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.


After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

Difference between Guts and Balls

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?


In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:


GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'


BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'


I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both result in death

Redneck Beer Review #8

Same beer, different location.

Good beer: well, actually 4th or 5th good beer.