ok, last redneck.... for a day or two at least

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.


12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.


13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.


14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.


15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.


16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.


17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

i can call you a redneck if......

6. Someone in your family died right after saying 'Hey, guys, watch this'.


7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.


8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.


9. Your junior prom offered day care.


10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines'.

to be continued (yea, it's redneck week on my blog)

i can call you a redneck if.....

you get too drunk to operate your flip-flops.

lindsay lohan

Boo-hoo, she got 90 days in jail. Who gives a rat's ass? Maybe that means I won't have to hear about her for 3 months.

i can call you a redneck if....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.


2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.


3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.


4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.


5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

to be continued.

What would you do?

Guess what I did? (it says "do not open")

psychic

While driving across Alabama, I saw a sign; "Psychic Readings". I stopped and stood on the porch for about 20 minutes...........

nobody ever came to the door.......