what happens if.....

What happens if you drop your brand stinking new Android based, touch screen phone down a set of metal stairs onto a concrete floor?

Not pretty, huh?

I never had cell phone insurance, the 10 years I've had a cell phone, I never needed it. I figured at $4.99 a month, it was a load of crap anyhow. The day after I dropped my phone, I got a call from AT&T saying that my 30 day trial period was about to run out on my new phone and that I should sign up if I wanted to keep the insurance. I thought "Cool, I'll get these guys." I figured a $50 deductable and I'd get it fixed.

The deductable for a touch-screen phone is $125, it only cost about $75 parts and labor to fix the phone.

So yes, cell phone insurance is a load of crap, it's just a way for the cell phone company to get a little more money outta you.

Red or Black

I was just thinking, if you're working on the wiring in your home, the black wire is hot. If you're working on your car, the black wire is ground.

What bright ass dude decided that??? Wouldn't it have made more sence for them both to be the same. I smell some of the same thinking that got us "i before e except" crap.

dang pumpkins....

useful dog tricks

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Five minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

"I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied.

She ran out of the room.

screws.....

I was just thinking, why do I have skint knuckles right now??? If I wasn't trying to remove a stupid slotted screw, I wouldn't. Why is there a flat-head screw even in this thing I'm working on. It was just built last year.

Phillips head screws were invented sometime before 1940 by a fairly cool dude named Henry Phillips. As far as I'm concerned, he's a genius, should'a died a multi-millionaire. It works about a thousand times better than a flat-head screw so why do we still have flat heads around. Let's see, by about 1950, everybody should have heard about a phillips screw, by 1960 everybody should have a phillips screw driver, give it about 20 years to do away with all the slotted screws and that's 1980. So why am I still farting around with ragged ass flat head screws?

Everybody get with the program, if it's new and improved, GO WITH IT! We don't need the old crap and the new crap. Better is better, move on to 1990. You don't have to throw away you're old screw driver, it's still good for opening paint cans and using as a chisel, just when you need a screw, get a phillips. Go ahead, change the world for the better....

Redneck Beer Review, Orlando, FL

Good cold beer but at $5.25 each, kinda hard to enjoy. In Orlando, I'd for sure say BYOB.

FYI.    Skip Universal Studios, it aint worth the time.

It's worse than i thought....

And I thought I was just hung over.....

did you know...

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.


2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.


3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.


4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.

4 Worms in church

4 Worms in church

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive .

So the Minister asked the congregation -

What did you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service!

this is old but still good....

opie and the spoiled kid

i was just thinking, this episode of Andy Griffith should be required watching for all kids starting at about age 3 through..... well maybe 17 or 18. i think it's the 50th anniversary of the show or something, anyway it's a classic.

you gotta remember "poor little Horatio, the half a boy".

41 mpg

found somewhere on the internet.....