I was just thinking...

quote of the day

2012-01-17T23:44:00.000-06:00

"God made all men, I made all men equal."

Samual Colt

Redneck Beer Review 11-11

2011-11-15T21:37:00.001-06:00

Yazoo Pale Ale
Yea, it's named for Yazoo, Mississippi but the brewery is in Nashville, TN. Go figure.

If you're stuck on Bud or Busch Light, you most likely won't like it. It has a good whang to it. Good beer for a change, just takes some getting used to.

occupy wall street???

2011-10-31T14:22:00.000-05:00

I thought those guys were a bunch of snot nosed whinners and the most they new about jobs was "Steve Jobs", now I see that some folks agree with me. Check out Bill Whittle:

two dogs dining

2011-10-26T23:56:00.000-05:00

i take no credit....

What happens at the beach......

2011-10-12T21:17:00.001-05:00

What happens at the beach stays at the beach or at least it's easier to bury.

the good news....

2011-10-12T18:00:00.001-05:00

First beer on the beach in Gulf Shores...............

the bad news.....

2011-10-09T12:36:00.001-05:00

The last beer on the beach in Destin, at least until next year.

The better mouse trap......

2011-09-28T21:31:00.001-05:00

Redneck beer review 9/11

2011-09-17T23:38:00.001-05:00

Open bar before, DURING and after a wedding rocks, don't matter what brand...

Time travel

2011-09-17T23:11:00.001-05:00

I was just thinking, if I invented a time machine, the first thing I'd do was find out who invented ties and go back and kick their ass, twice.

life rules (some more words)

2011-09-08T21:31:00.000-05:00

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12.conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.

quote of the day

2011-08-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

"Camping without weed is just sleeping in the woods."

Victoria, from Mike and Molley

Redneck Beer Review "Moonshine"

2011-08-18T20:59:00.001-05:00

This stuff will knock your tallywhacker in the dirt. The "still" is in Gatlinburg, downtown. Several flavors, hunchpunch was pretty good, moonshine was stout. Free samples but didn't buy any. Neat place.
Ole Smoky Moonshine

new government logo

2011-08-11T11:22:00.000-05:00

credit goes to:http://www.nostate.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/newusgovernmentlogo.jpg

quote of the day

2011-08-10T21:07:00.000-05:00

from American Pickers.....

Mike: "Aren't you worried about your carbon footprint when you're gone?"
Frank: "No, I don't care if it goes 'Planet of the Apes' when I'm gone."

debt deal???

2011-08-01T10:06:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking that I don't know much about how all that government crap works but it looks like to me that the deal congress and the president worked out would be the same as me paying my next 12 or 15 house payments with my Mastercard. Then, in a couple of years, I'll save my beer money to pay off the credit card.

We'll see how that works out for everybody but I bet we're doing this same s**t in a year or two only it'll be 10 times worse.

quote of the day

2011-07-22T15:56:00.000-05:00

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

-Abraham Lincoln

Scared or excited

2011-07-17T22:01:00.001-05:00

I was just thinking, what the hell comes on a hanger like this? Found it when I was taking out the trash, I don't care what she bought but....?

Stinky cars?

2011-07-16T10:23:00.001-05:00

If you need 43 air fresheners in your car, maybe you should just ride around with the windows down.

melons

2011-07-12T21:10:00.000-05:00

credit goes to "unknown internet dude".

joke of the day

2011-07-10T10:00:00.002-05:00

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Warren Buffet is the man...

2011-07-09T21:49:00.000-05:00

“I could end the deficit in 5 minutes. You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP all sitting members of congress are ineligible for reelection.” quote form Warren Buffet.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/warren-buffet-deficit-jobs-report-2011-7#ixzz1RfP3sHQl

do you smell that?

2011-07-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

Redneck Beer Review 6-11

2011-07-07T01:39:00.001-05:00

Blue Moon Honey Wheat
Pretty good beer, can't tell why the call it "Honey Wheat", it's not sweet at all. Goes real good with crab claws....

On screen, Mr. Spock.

2011-07-01T22:12:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking, I might watch too much Star Trek. All the technology is cool and some might actually work in the future, we got cell phones now that will do more than Captain Kirk's communicator would do but I always figured the view screen on the Enterprise was a bunch of crap. How can you see a planet (or some one on a planet) that was lightyears away. The Hubble Telescope is one thing but on the viewscreen, they could see nearly anywhere, I figured it just made the show better plus they never tried to explain the technology. Even the warp drive is based on some "real" theory but no explanation of the viewer, it was just there. I figured, nope, never happen.....

Then the other day I was using Google Maps to find a gas station, I switched to "street view" to see if I could get my truck and camper into the station without too much trouble. The view of the station popped up and it hit me, "Holy S**t".....

Now I just need to develope an app, you say "on screen, mr spock" and it will automatically open up Google Map Street View and show you a couple of miles down the road, but Google may already be working on it.

I was just thinking...

2011-06-26T20:28:00.001-05:00

The doctor said if I quit drinking that I could add 5 years on to my life. I told him that I didn't have anything planned for that last 5 years anyway.

you are a redneck if.....

2011-06-19T18:39:00.000-05:00

you open your grill and this is what you find.

dogs are better than....

2011-06-15T12:37:00.000-05:00

where did the white man go wrong?

2011-06-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

you might be a redneck if...

2011-06-08T11:10:00.000-05:00

You might be a redneck if: During your wife's DUI hearing, the court clerk says "Order in the court." and you reply "Bud Light, please."

beep beep 2.0

2011-05-29T10:51:00.000-05:00

Looney.Tunes.Coyote.Falls.1080p from Proud & Loud on Vimeo.

updated classic

quote of the day

2011-05-26T22:16:00.000-05:00

(from Rules of Engagement)

Audry-"You're drinking beer this early in the morning?"
Jeff-"Yes, we're out of orange juice."

you might be a redneck if...

2011-05-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

The last thing you take off before you go to bed is your hat.

the end is near

2011-05-21T10:34:00.000-05:00

Two preachers were walking down the road carrying a sign that said "Turn ye around, the end is near" as a car came speeding toward them the driver shook his fist and shouted "RELIGOUS NUTS!!!" he then spead around the curve and there was a loud splash.

With that one of the preachers turned to the other and said "Do you think we should change the sign to read "Bridge out ahead"?

signs

2011-05-20T15:54:00.000-05:00

I saw this sign on the side of the road the other day, looks to me like, if you loved your kids, you'd keep'em outta the dang road!

Redneck Beer Review 5-11

2011-05-11T18:39:00.000-05:00

Calfkiller, cool name for a beer. The Calfkiller Brewery is a local brewery in Sparta, TN. Good beer, not to strong, looks kinda like pond water. Light but lots of flavor. Guess it's what you'd call a micro-brew, I could have gotten a tour of the barn, I mean brewery but didn't. My loss, it only comes in kegs, no bottles. I'll be checking the web site to see if they ever start bottling, til then I'll just have to keep checking the bars & resturants in the area. The Foglight Foodhouse in Rock Island has Calfkiller and some good food, fyi.

osama

2011-05-05T09:17:00.000-05:00

One good thing Osama did; he got rid of most that royal wedding crap that was all you could find on the TV.

got milk

2011-05-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

I went to see my niece today, she has a two month old baby. The baby was ill and crying, she said she was constipated. I was just thinking, she only drinks milk, how the hell does that make you constipated?

driver’s license

2011-05-01T19:02:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking, Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

haley

2011-04-25T21:22:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking, since Haley Borbour isn't going to run for president, that'll save me (personally) about a million dollars. What a waste that'd been. Like Obama/Busch (and who ever is next) aint bad enough?

who moved my cheese?

2011-04-19T13:49:00.001-05:00

I had to read "Who Moved My Cheese?" for a class, now I'm looking forward to the sequel: "Where's My Beer?"

plan b

2011-04-16T11:32:00.001-05:00

I was just thinking, life is all about how you handle plan B.....

T-tops

2011-04-11T21:43:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking, when are T-tops gonna make a come back? I always wanted a car with T-tops but never did have one, I bet a dollar that they'll be back within a couple of years. Remember "Smokie and the Bandit".

government shut down

2011-04-09T01:51:00.000-05:00

"At least if we had a shutdown, we'd all have gotten to see just how nonessential most of government actually is."

S.E. Cupp is a columnist at the New York Daily News

Boy, he sure said a butt-load......

Redneck Beer Review 4-11

2011-04-08T17:26:00.001-05:00

It's just Bud Light but don't it look good.

Ugly

2011-04-01T09:10:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen an uglier ride?

Redneck Beer Review 3-11

2011-03-30T21:24:00.002-05:00

Mic Ultra & fried jalapeno strips sitting on the porch at The Shrimp Basket in Orange Beach, good beer.

listen

2011-03-23T22:06:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking, the word "listen" contains the same letters as the word "silent".

redneck test answsers...

2011-03-20T23:42:00.000-05:00

any redneck should have been able to answer them questions....

redneck test

2011-03-15T08:06:00.000-05:00

who's the bigger asshat???

2011-03-14T08:47:00.000-05:00

I saw the man and woman on a trike (yellow with black flames), looked like a VW rear-end welded to a motorcycle front-end, kinda sharp but what do I know. They were stopped at a red light waiting on it to change. I was close enough to them that I could see them pointing at a car across the intersection from them and laughing at it. The car was about a '76 Caprice with 22" rims and low profile tires, looked kinda stupid to me too but not as stupid as them two on the trike in the pouring rain.

I'd take the rims with a roof any rainy day over a trike.....

do u mind...

2011-03-11T00:20:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking but sometimes my mind wanders. Then sometimes it leaves completely.

tard

2011-03-10T10:50:00.000-06:00

Measure twice.....

2011-03-09T19:41:00.001-06:00

They say measure twice and cut once, you think this is what they mean?

the jedi redneck

2011-03-06T08:32:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking, why didn't anybody think to put a wrist strap on a lightsaber? Luke could have kicked the Dark Side's ass if he wasn't always dropping his lightsaber.

ouch....

2011-03-04T15:16:00.000-06:00

word of the day

2011-03-01T21:37:00.000-06:00

ASSHAT

Example of use: "You are an ASSHAT!"

Meaning: The only thing the top half of you is good for is a lid for the bottom half.

cursive

2011-02-22T02:49:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking: Was learning cursive really necessary?

gggg

2011-02-18T00:30:00.000-06:00

AT&T announced the roll-out of their 4G service. I'm impressed and can't wait. Last year I could drive 30 miles and get 3G service for the first time. So if I have a 4G phone stuck in my coffin, I might have 4G service by about mid 2153. Only problem I see is that with the 2 gig limit they put on service, I'll be over my usage on the first day. Almost makes me want to swap back to AT&T....

west virginia gurls...

2011-02-09T02:16:00.002-06:00

What does a West Virginia girl say after her first sexual experiance?
"Get off of me Papaw, you're mashing my cigarettes!"

pants on the ground....

2011-02-06T00:10:00.000-06:00

what will $1.7 million get ya?

2011-02-03T20:50:00.000-06:00

A Bugatti Veyron:

250 mph, 0 to 60 in about 2.5 seconds and here's the kicker: 4 Michelin tires made for this car. A set will cost you $17,000 and only last for 6000 miles. I didn't even look into how many miles per gallon it gets, guess if you have that kind of money, you wouldn't give a rats-ass.

good ole steve....

2011-01-24T20:46:00.000-06:00

a public service announcement

2011-01-21T22:22:00.001-06:00

how many buttons do i need?

2011-01-20T00:52:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking, how many buttons do I really need on my DVD player remote? I really don't think I need 47 dad-gum buttons. I go to pick up the remote and I can't even find the "play" button. I don't know what most are for and don't give a rats-ass. All I need is a "play", a "stop" and maybe FF & RW, possibly a power button and volume up and down. I really don't care for the number buttons, just gimme an up and down for that, leave the rest of the crap off. MAKE IS SIMPLE. I don't want to have to figure it out, just play the dang DVD.

Here's another idea, how about making all DVD remotes the same. I finally figure the one out in the den then go to the bedroom and the SOB is different. I aint buying no blu-ray until they figure out a remote....

dumb ass weather man...

2011-01-09T18:18:00.000-06:00

The local weather dumb ass said there was a 40% chance of snow and that we'd have 5 to 8 inches of accumulation.....

If you say we're gonna have at least 5 inches of snow, don't that mean there's 100% chance of snow? If there's only a 40% chance, looks like you should say zero to 8 " accumulation. But what do I know, I aint no Dick "Freakin" Rice.

bottoms up....

2011-01-07T22:48:00.000-06:00

and the point is?

2011-01-06T20:38:00.000-06:00

A treadmill bike. WTF? Do you want to take a walk or ride a bike?

dulcolax

2011-01-03T09:27:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking, I saw an add for Dulcolax "stool softener". Is that like "diarrhea-in-a-box"?

a six-pack of Milwaukee's best will have the same results....

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010

2011-01-02T09:48:00.000-06:00

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2010 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt..

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2010 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2010 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2010 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Wally falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Nancy. Nancy hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Wally feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Nancy is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison... Wally undergoes 5 years of therapy.

you might be a redneck if...

2010-12-28T20:40:00.000-06:00

You might be a redneck if you buy your 4 year old son a hunting rifle for Christmas.

santa clause is coming....

2010-12-24T02:59:00.000-06:00

here's your sign...

2010-12-21T10:06:00.000-06:00

Friendly Holiday Advice

2010-12-20T13:28:00.000-06:00

Please, take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

i see said the blind man

2010-12-17T10:37:00.000-06:00

I was just thinking, how does a blind man know when he's done wiping his ass?

you think he's a redneck???

2010-12-16T10:17:00.000-06:00

MAN FOUND NAKED IN CEMETERY

PICAYUNE, Miss. (AP) _ A man caught naked in a south Mississippi church cemetery says he was trying to take photographs of spirits.

Robert Hurst tells The Picayune Item newspaper that he shed his clothes because he believes skin is the best canvas to show spirits' orbs of energy.

The 47-year-old says he only intended to remove his shirt, but he took off all his clothes, a move he now calls ``stupid.''

Authorities had set up a motion-activated camera to try to catch vandals.

Shane Tucker, the chief deputy in Pearl River County, says Hurst is not accused of vandalism, but the camera caught an unexpected image of Hurst naked.

Hurst faces a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure.

He posted a $500 bond after turning himself in Friday.
(Copyright 2010 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Dumb ass might fit better than redneck.

Redneck Beer Review 12-10 (guest hosted by Bart)

2010-12-12T16:25:00.001-06:00

"It's the worst beer I've ever drank,

you can find it at Walgreens,

if you can't find it, I'll bring you 2 or 4 cans."

That's the quote that was sent with the picture. I think if you're shopping for beer at Walgreens, you're qualified to do the Redneck Beer Review. Thanks Bart.

i'm just the painter.......

2010-12-12T16:00:00.000-06:00

So, I was working at someone elses house, painting the bathroom. Actually, I'd redone the whole bath and all I lacked was the painting. I was there by myself, trying to get done.

I hear someone knocking on the door. I don't give a rat's ass who it is, aint nobody I want to see, aint my house, let'em knock and I'll keep painting. Well, they don't stop knocking, just keep on knocking. I finally go to the door, paint brush in one hand, a gallon of paint in the other and paint up to my elbows, and yea, a little pissed off at who ever this is knocking on the door and interrupting my getting done.

I open the door and it's some kid delivering a box of oranges. He asks "Are you Mr. Birch?"

I say "Nope, I'm the painter." I didn't care to tell him anything else, I figure if he's got good sense, he'll ask if it's OK to leave the box and get out of my way. For some reason, my statement of "Nope, I'm the painter." threw him for a loop and he just stood there staring at me.

After what seemed like a long time, he finally asked "Do you know the Birches?"

I couldn't help myself, before I had a chance to think about what I was going to say, I said "No, I don't know them, I was just walking by with this paint and a brush, this was the first house I came to that wasn't locked, so I started painting but you can leave the oranges on the steps." And I closed the door and went back to my painting.

my dog is normal....

2010-11-28T21:55:00.000-06:00

I thought Susie (my Jack Russell) was crazy, turns out she's just a normal dog. This is from another blog(dogster blog).

normal dogs bite

normal dogs have no standards as to appropriate elimination sites with the exception of “where I sleep is out of bounds”

normal dogs do not come when called if something more interesting is going on

normal dogs default to responding to new stimuli in their environment fearfully. Fear is a survival adaptation and keeps a dog safe.

normal dogs chew, dissect, and destroy things

normal dogs resource guard

normal dogs bark and growl

normal dogs dig holes

normal dogs hump legs

normal dogs vocalize when left alone

normal dogs chase squirrels, deer, and cats

normal dogs kill small animals

normal dogs pull on the leash

normal dogs often like to run around as fast as they can, even if they knock over small children or grandma in the process

normal dogs lift their legs and pee on trees, even when we bring those trees into our houses and put lights and ornaments all over them

normal dogs like to sniff EVERYTHING – crotches (human and canine), fire hydrants, trees, bushes, gopher holes

normal dogs eat poop

normal dogs tear up the garbage, counter surf, and eat expensive panties or heels

normal dogs roll in poop and dead things

normal dogs do not like every dog they meet

normal dogs do not want to be hugged, kissed, touched, or stared at by every person they meet in every situation

normal dogs don’t like having their nails trimmed, mats removed from their coat, or grooming

normal dogs don’t naturally love being crated

normal dogs don’t naturally love wearing sweaters, being carried in purses or strollers, or wearing booties

She's done all that and then some. Check out the blog it's from, it's pretty good. http://blogs.dogster.com/dog-training/the-myth-of-normal-dogs/2010/11/

fun things to do at the mall....

2010-11-24T13:13:00.000-06:00

You may find your self in the mall more than you'd like to be over the next few weeks. Here's something to do to pass the time while waiting on your wife:

1. Buy a cheap combination lock. If you are near a Dollar Tree, pick up 6 or 8, that should be enough for a days worth of entertainment. If you can't find the cheap ones, get 1 to start with and see how it goes.

2. Unlock the lock and find a bench to sit on, preferably one with a view of a lot of people walking by.

3. This step may take a while so be patient. Look for some dude to come by with those tunnel earrings, you know, the big ass whole in the ear lobe with a loop in it. Probably better to make sure he is alone, you'll see why in a minute.

4. Now, when this dude gets in just the right spot, run up behind him and slap that lock in his ear and quickly lock it. You may need to practice this step, it's very important to insert the lock and lock it in one quick motion.

5. RUN. As long as he's alone and you get the lock locked, you won't have any one chase you. As soon as you think it's clear, duck into a store and watch from the window.

you might have a redneck thanksgiving if....

2010-11-23T22:52:00.000-06:00

You might be a redneck if the conversation at the Thanksgiving dinner involves the phrase "Pass the Jack, please."

morning

2010-11-22T11:45:00.000-06:00

Redneck Beerstore Review 11/10

2010-11-19T20:36:00.001-06:00

Ever heard of Arab, Alabama? They should be famous for the beer store. It's like the Wal-Mart of beer stores. You need a shopping cart. The Beverage Warehouse, check it out if you're ever near Arab...

link to their site

time for a change...

2010-11-19T00:38:00.000-06:00

credit goes to "click here"

joke of the day

2010-11-18T07:11:00.000-06:00

why do prostitutes make more money than drug dealers?

'cause they can wash their crack and sell it again.......

lol

2010-11-17T13:24:00.000-06:00

Redneck Beer Review 11-2010

2010-11-14T19:26:00.002-06:00

Cold beer, fried pickles, slaw and hush puppies. Could it get any better? I'm waiting on a catfish plate but don't really care if it gets hear or not.

Had your hip replaced since 2004?

2010-11-11T13:31:00.002-06:00

I just heard that Depuy (some medical supply company) is recalling nearly 100,000 artificial hips made since 2004.
That's gotta suck.....

All said & done.....

2010-11-09T16:38:00.001-06:00

After it's all said and done, I bet there was a lot more said than done.

Jackpot

2010-11-08T06:41:00.002-06:00

I think I'll buy a round for the house, as long as I'm the only one home.

what do you get.....

2010-11-04T05:03:00.000-05:00

what happens if.....

2010-10-31T08:54:00.000-05:00

What happens if you drop your brand stinking new Android based, touch screen phone down a set of metal stairs onto a concrete floor?

Not pretty, huh?

I never had cell phone insurance, the 10 years I've had a cell phone, I never needed it. I figured at $4.99 a month, it was a load of crap anyhow. The day after I dropped my phone, I got a call from AT&T saying that my 30 day trial period was about to run out on my new phone and that I should sign up if I wanted to keep the insurance. I thought "Cool, I'll get these guys." I figured a $50 deductable and I'd get it fixed.

The deductable for a touch-screen phone is $125, it only cost about $75 parts and labor to fix the phone.

So yes, cell phone insurance is a load of crap, it's just a way for the cell phone company to get a little more money outta you.

Red or Black

2010-10-30T11:30:00.001-05:00

I was just thinking, if you're working on the wiring in your home, the black wire is hot. If you're working on your car, the black wire is ground.

What bright ass dude decided that??? Wouldn't it have made more sence for them both to be the same. I smell some of the same thinking that got us "i before e except" crap.

dang pumpkins....

2010-10-28T02:10:00.000-05:00

useful dog tricks

2010-10-26T09:54:00.002-05:00

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...

2010-10-24T01:09:00.000-05:00

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Five minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

"I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied.

She ran out of the room.

screws.....

2010-10-21T19:11:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking, why do I have skint knuckles right now??? If I wasn't trying to remove a stupid slotted screw, I wouldn't. Why is there a flat-head screw even in this thing I'm working on. It was just built last year.

Phillips head screws were invented sometime before 1940 by a fairly cool dude named Henry Phillips. As far as I'm concerned, he's a genius, should'a died a multi-millionaire. It works about a thousand times better than a flat-head screw so why do we still have flat heads around. Let's see, by about 1950, everybody should have heard about a phillips screw, by 1960 everybody should have a phillips screw driver, give it about 20 years to do away with all the slotted screws and that's 1980. So why am I still farting around with ragged ass flat head screws?

Everybody get with the program, if it's new and improved, GO WITH IT! We don't need the old crap and the new crap. Better is better, move on to 1990. You don't have to throw away you're old screw driver, it's still good for opening paint cans and using as a chisel, just when you need a screw, get a phillips. Go ahead, change the world for the better....

Redneck Beer Review, Orlando, FL

2010-10-17T19:12:00.001-05:00

Good cold beer but at $5.25 each, kinda hard to enjoy. In Orlando, I'd for sure say BYOB.

FYI. Skip Universal Studios, it aint worth the time.

It's worse than i thought....

2010-10-11T21:31:00.001-05:00

And I thought I was just hung over.....

did you know...

2010-10-09T18:32:00.000-05:00

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.

2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.

3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.

4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.